Exercise: Can You Have What You Want?

Written by: Jorinde Berben
Image credit: pexels.com

Coaching people is all about helping them get what they want, whether it’s a new job, an organized houshold or a sense of peace of mind. In coaching, you do this by guiding someone to their own truths, their own insights, by means of questions or observations.

Recently, I’ve listened to a couple of 2014 podcasts by Brooke Castillo in her series The Life Coach School Podcast. She offers valuable (free!) lessons, not only for coaches, but also for just anyone wanting to implement changes in their life. Today I want to share one with you that stuck with me. Feel free to join.

The Exercise

Take 10 minutes for yourself (yes, you deserve this!) just grab a piece of paper and a pen and sit down somewhere comfy.

Ready?

Now, write down 25 things that you really want in your life. They can be small (a haircut) or big (moving to a new country). They can be material (a car), experiential (swimming with dolphins) or spiritual (living from the heart). They just have to be things that you really, really want.

I’ll give you a peaceful picture to look at while you think about/write that list.
Once you’re done, you just scroll down.

Finished?

Great!

Now, take your list, and mark everything on that list that you really really want, and that you already have!

If you’re anything like me (or my partner) your list only contains things that you don’t have yet. But I have tons of things in my life that I really, really want and also already have.
Great friends? Yes, please!
Children? I wanted them for a long time and now enjoy my life with them (mostly).
A writing habit? I’ve wanted that since kindergarten, and here I am writing this blog for over a year already.

The next part of the exercise is to rewrite your list and make every other item something you also really want and already have.

And yes, for those of you who’ve caught on already, this is a great way to focus again on the things you are grateful for. But, wanting something and being grateful for it are also two different things. They are two different energies. In wanting and desire, there is a reaching for, a pulling of something into your life.

When you write this second list, dixit Brooke Castillo, your mind starts to realise that you can actually have the things you want. To cement this further, she encourages listeners to express these desires out loud and sandwich the don-t-haves in between the do-haves. For me that could look something like this:

• I want a home that I can feel relaxed in.
• I want a job that allows me to choose my own hours
• I want a partner that loves and encourages me to be my best

For you it will, undoubtedly, look very different. But I hope it might also give you that spark of possibility that I had when I first did the exercise. Perhaps, it can even shift the way you look at your desires and at the limitations that are holding you back. What did you once deem impossible or what seemed unfathomable that you now enjoy in your life? What would you still want in your life if you didn’t have it at this current moment?

For me, this weekend was filled with wonderful people. We visited and welcomed friends and family, and enjoyed wonderful food and the song of dozens of birds. Today, my list of do-haves is long, and my list of don-t-haves looks just a little more possible. Tomorrow, it might be a little different, but as long as I remember to include both on my list, I’m sure I’ll do just fine!